Friday, 29 May 2020

How To Feel Better About Yourself

Hello Everyone,

I hope you're all doing well, it's been quite the period of uncertainty and upheaval lately, not seeing friends and family has been a weird one for us but, to use a phrase that has been bouncing around in the media lately, I'm finding that I'm getting used to this 'New Normal' and I actually don't hate it anymore.

During this time we have all had a lot of time for reflecting, for some it has been about learning what is important to them, for some it has been a time to be inspired and work on creative outlets, for others... well, let's just say there's been some major trollery going on.

Watching things unfold online over and over again, or hearing stories in real life of how horrible some people are being during this time when we are all suffering has really got me reflecting about people and how they behave.
I get it, people are low and frightened, they might have lost a loved one, they may feel cut off from their support network or they might feel that no one cares about them right now and they're projecting these negative feelings onto anyone that they can come across, like a tidal wave of negativity. In turn this leads to negativity from the targeted person and, depending on their strength of character, it can lead for further lashing out and very rapidly a pattern emerges.

Being a link in this chain is not only harmful to others but to you, you might not realise it yet but putting negativity into the world can directly harm your mental health (unless you're an absolute cretin but I refuse to believe that anyone reading this would fall into that category). If you really want to feel good about yourself then I hate to be the one to break it to you but :

You Have To Try To Be A Good Person 

I'm not saying you can never clap back, I'm a firm believer that some people deserve a good slap around the face with a massive wet fish but that's a post for another day, the key word here is 'try' and one of my favourite ways to spread a bit of happiness is through Random Acts Of Kindness, I have a video on my channel of 5 Acts of Kindness You Can Do From Home but here are a list of 5 other things that you can do easily to help those around you, and best of all? They're incredibly easy.

  1. Compliment Someone: A simple compliment can brighten someones day, I think we all know that one. Try this one out, next time you're being served in a shop, tell the person behind the counter that their earrings are nice or you like their t-shirt (don't get creepy here, you want to make them feel happy not that you're going to follow them home, a light compliment then move on is key).
  2. Offer To Help If The Moment Arises: This one involves reacting to what you see around you, instead of pretending you don't notice someone struggling, politely offer assistance, not everyone will accept your help but some will and you'll brighten their day a little. I've done this so many times, from big things such as spending 40 mins helping a woman push her car out of the mud to simply unscrewing a tight tap for a neighbour, you're helping.
  3. Send Gifts: Friend having a bad day, got a little extra money in your bank account? Get online and send them a little care package and don't tell them, it doesn't have to cost a lot, I frequestly stick to less than £10 but when they get an unexpected little present, their day is instantly better.
  4. Give Things Away: Got some books you won't be reading again? Children's toys? Pretty dresses that you know you won't be needing again? Get them to your local charity shop. Easy.
  5. Car Park Fees: I know that this doesn't apply at the moment with social distancing and places being largely closed, but it's one for your repertoire. Have you paid for all day parking but you're leaving with a few hours to spare? Hand over that ticket to someone you see coming into the car park as you leave. Done.
You'll notice that the more things you do to help others and spread kindness, the better you will feel about yourself over time. Being a nice person doesn't cost anything, but the rewards are endless.

Tell me your favourite ways of spreading good feeling!

Till next time,

Rosy x

Friday, 22 May 2020

How I Got My Life Back

Hello Everyone,

Long time no speak and that's kind of the focus of today's post really.

Today I'm going to tell you about how I got my life back in a world that no longer made sense.

Last year I was struggling, there was nothing in particular that I could put my finger on but I just knew that I was treading water and I was in real danger of sinking.

I had a new baby, a child in school, social appointments, a youtube channel, this blog, my social media and some personal issues to juggle and at night I was finding myself lying awake for hours mentally going over tomorrow's 'to do' list and then, when I finally would succumb to sleep, I'd be woken half an hour later to night feeds. In short - I was exhausted.

I eventually decided that I would have to make some life changes or I was going to end up burning myself out, I was juggling too many things and doing them badly which only added to my ever growing stress levels as I knew that I could do better which ended in a cycle of trying to do more, watching myself come up short each time, stressing about it and trying again with the same results.

The time had come to take my life back.

I abandoned a good portion of my life and focused on only a few key areas, allowing myself to float freely in new motherhood and see if I noticed a difference in my stress levels.

Reader, it worked perfectly.

My blog was one of the areas to go, it was a hard decision as I had been working on growing it for years, it was doing well, I was getting a decent amount of work, I had good engagement levels but it took up so much of my time, reviewing items, scheduling posts, photographing and editing items, and then there was the instagramming, the book reviews I needed to do for YouTube, the daily life, the other areas of my personal life that I won't go into today but wow, the workload was immense.

I decided to just stop blogging, just not open that blog tab anymore, stop checking my stats, stop accepting sponsors, take myself off blogging lists and presto, I was no longer a blogger.
I carried on with YouTube, I was going to be reading anyway so it made sense to keep this area of my online presence going ( its Sparkles Books if anyone is interested, I upload twice weekly).

My Instagram turned into a travel theme instead of a blog theme, simply because I was out and about seeing my local area rather than sitting indoors blogging. Gone were the beauty flatlays, my Instagram was now a sea of... well... sea!

In time I also opened another Instagram account that was dedicated to book flatlays only, this allowed me to get a free ten minutes still working on creativity without it becoming too much of 'a thing'.

So that instagram account is here if you like bookish goodness.

Another area of my life that I scaled back was my social engagements too, that may be controversial in some people's opinion because I know that socialising is key to a lot of people's positive mental health, but for me, I'm an introvert and having too many social outings actually leaves me feeling stressed and so I closed my appointment book and just let it sit there, empty... and it felt great.

Bit by bit I've found that I'm returning to where I used to be, there's less stress and more being present and I've come to realise that I was looking at everything in a way that was setting me up for failure, I didn't need to do everything I was doing, I was putting that pressure on myself and sorting out the things I need to do from the things I want to do and the things I was pressured to do has been enlightening.

I'm still here, I'm still learning and I'm still around on social media, am I the same person I was 5 years ago? absolutely not but you know what? I'm ok with that.

Till next time.

Rosy x
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