Friday, 31 March 2017

Sometimes I Lie

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My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me:
 1. I’m in a coma.
 2. My husband doesn’t love me any more.
 3. Sometimes I lie.






Now
 Boxing Day, December 2016

 I’ve always delighted in the free fall between sleep and wakefulness. Those precious few semi-conscious seconds before you open your eyes, when you catch yourself believing that your dreams might just be your reality. A moment of intense pleasure or pain, before your senses reboot and inform you who and where and what you are. For now, for just a second longer, I’m enjoying the self-medicated delusion that permits me to imagine that I could be anyone, I could be anywhere, I could be loved. I sense the light behind my eyelids and my attention is drawn to the platinum band on my finger. It feels heavier than it used to, as though it is weighing me down. A sheet is pulled over my body, it smells unfamiliar and I consider the possibility that I’m in a hotel. Any memory of what I dreamt evaporates. I try to hold on, try to be someone and stay somewhere I am not, but I can’t. I am only ever me and I am here, where I already know I do not wish to be. My limbs ache and I’m so very tired, I don’t want to open my eyes, until I remember that I can’t.
Panic spreads through me like a blast of icy cold air. I can’t recall where this is or how I got here, but I know who I am. My name is Amber Reynolds. I am thirty-five years old. I’m married to Paul. I repeat these three things in my head, holding on to them tightly, as though they might save me, but I’m mindful that some part of the story is lost, the last few pages ripped out. When the memories are as complete as I can manage, I bury them until they are quiet enough inside my head to allow me to think, to feel, to try to make sense of it all. One memory refuses to comply, fighting its way to the surface, but I don’t want to believe it. The sound of a machine breaks into my consciousness, stealing my last few fragments of hope and leaving me with nothing except the unwanted knowledge that I am in a hospital. The sterilised stench of the place makes me want to gag. I hate hospitals. They are the home of death and regrets that missed their slots, not somewhere I would ever choose to visit, let alone stay. There were people here before, strangers, I remember that now. They used a word I chose not to hear. I recall lots of fuss, raised voices and fear, not just my own. I struggle to unearth more, but my mind fails me. Something very bad has happened, but I cannot remember what or when. Why isn’t he here? It can be dangerous to ask a question when you already know the answer. He does not love me. I bookmark that thought. I hear a door open. Footsteps, then the silence returns but it’s spoiled, no longer pure. I can smell stale cigarette smoke, the sound of pen scratching paper to my right. Someone coughs to my left and I realise there are two of them. Strangers in the dark. I feel colder than before and so terribly small. I have never known a terror like the one that takes hold of me now. I wish someone would say something. ‘Who is she?’ asks a woman’s voice. ‘No idea. Poor love, what a mess,’ replies another woman. I wish they’d said nothing at all. I start to scream. My name is Amber Reynolds! I’m a radio presenter! Why don’t you know who I am? I shout the same sentences over and over, but they ignore me, because on the outside I am silent. On the outside, I am nobody and I have no name. I want to see the me they have seen. I want to sit up, reach out and touch them. I want to feel something again. Anything. Anyone. I want to ask a thousand questions. I think I want to know the answers. They used the word from before too, the one I don’t want to hear. The women leave, closing the door behind them, but the word stays behind, so that we are alone together and I am no longer able to ignore it. I can’t open my eyes. I can’t move. I can’t speak. The word bubbles to the surface, popping on impact and I know it to be true. 
Coma.


Sometimes I Lie is a brand new, fast paced thriller from Alice Feeney (it is actually her debut thriller) about Amber Reynolds, a self confessed liar who is currently in a coma for reasons unknown. 

I've not read many books with an unreliable narrator and I think that added to my overall enjoyment of this book because, for the most part, I had no idea what was going on, I felt like each chapter left me sat there mentally screaming "WHAT?!" all the way through and I mean this in a good way.

Amber has an interesting back story, we jump between the present, (with her being in a coma but conscious which brings with it a feeling of intense anxiety and helplessness, for example, Amber tells us how she has been placed on one side and is growing uncomfortable but has to wait for nurses to come and move her as she is completely immobile and unable to vocalise any of her discomfort, this feeling of vulnerability really translates to the reader as I found myself feeling tense and unsettled in each of these scenes.) to the near past which brings with it little clues as to how she has ended up in her current state and a whole host of suspects, (was it her perfect sister who seems to be a little too friendly with Amber's husband? Was it the husband who spends time anywhere but with Amber?) but we also get snippets into Amber's childhood which adds a whole new level of uncertainty and confusion.

I found that the best way to enjoy this story is to suspend belief and open your mind, yes, there are a huge amount of elements at play here but this is storytelling after all and I personally enjoyed the various characters and their role in Amber's life, I also liked how this book made me think about the lies we tell, not just to other people, but to ourselves too and the consequences this can have in the long term.

Sometimes I Lie is available now, is it something you think you might pick up?

Rosy xx 
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123 comments

  1. Stunning post!
    Have a nice day!
    Gil Zetbase

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great review. Have a nice weekend.

    Gemma x
    www.jacquardflower.uk

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  3. I never heard about this. It have a interesting title :)
    http://natalie-forever.blogspot.com

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  4. Wow, this sounds like an interesting plot.. I would so watch this if it was a film x

    LAURA ­| Laura Thinks About

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  5. The fact this book went down well with you is made all the more impressive when you consider its the author's debut thriller! I have to admit, I have a massive fear of personally (or someone I love) ending up in a coma, and so I can't say I'd read this - though that doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good coma-related book when I see/hear about one! ;)

    aglassofice.com x

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    Replies
    1. I also have a really weird fear of comas, it just feels like one of the worst things to happen!

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  6. Great post dear!

    http://iameleine.blogspot.com/

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  7. Hmm. I can't decide if I fancy this or not! Little concerned about unreliable narrator - wasn't a fan of Girl on Train and wasn't huge fan of Gone Girl either!

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    Replies
    1. If you didn't enjoy those two you probably wont like this at all, the unreliable element is much stronger in this book.

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  8. That is probably one of the catchiest blog titles and introductions to a story I've ever read! It urged me to read on and I just needed to know what you we're referring too lol. I may just have to pick up this book!

    xoxo
    Rina Samantha
    http://www.andshedressed.com

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  9. Oooo, this got me curious just by the reading the book cover alone. I haven't read for ages but this will be added into my book list!

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  10. amazing!
    INTERNATIONAL 100$ GIVEAWAY! check out: YOUNG BLOG

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  11. That book title had me gasping! hahahah I must check it out - I wonder if it's available on audible?

    Aicha | The Fashion Heist

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    Replies
    1. Ooh I've not actually checked.

      Rosy xx

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  12. Oh, God, this book is so interesting, I must see if it's sold in my city!

    http://couturecase.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Let m know if you get it :)

      Rosy xx

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  13. Ooh this sounds so interesting, what an unusual element to add! Think I will love this, thanks for sharing xxx

    ALittleKiran | Bloglovin

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  14. I'm doing the GoodReads 50 book challenge and definitely intrigued by Sometimes I Lie. That said, I always struggle with unreliable narrators!

    Musings & More

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I find them hard to grasp at times too.

      Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog
      My Instagram | Instagram

      Delete
  15. Great review! I will definitely look for this book.

    http://thelitetaryapothecary.blogspot.com

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  16. Sounds really interesting, I need to give a try :)
    The Fancy Cats

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  17. Ooh sounds like a really great read, I love books which have you thinking 'what the hell is going on??' throughout - definitely in need of something like this!

    //teandtwosugars.blogspot.com xx

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  18. This is so good dear!

    BEAUTYEDITER.COM

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  19. I love reading, but the fact that you were most of the time like "What" sounds frustrating ahahha It does however sound like an interesting and captivating read, will have to look it up.

    xo
    www.carinavardie.com

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    Replies
    1. Haha it was occasionally frustrating.

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  20. Oh wow, I mean just by reading the book cover one is totally intrigued...

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  21. Ooo yes this is definitely on my reading list!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. let me know if you pick it up.

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  22. Wow, this is very interesting. Being in a coma and conscious is actually one of my greatest fears. It's like you're dead but not really and that's really scary. I still have a lot of books to finish because I previously kept on buying books but no time to read. But I will be placing this in my wishlist so when I am done reading what's in my queue I will go get this. The plot is interesting. Thanks for the recommendation. :)

    Jenn
    The Pink Lemonade Girl
    YouTube
    Bloglovin

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    Replies
    1. I have so many books waiting to be read it is unreal! I agree, the idea of being in a coma is horrific!

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  23. Great post, I very like it :)

    new post
    https://www.instagram.com/ilijac/
    http://mensfashionobsession.blogspot.rs/

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  24. Thanks for the great review! This sounds like a good read. X

    Amy - http://amyevans.blog

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  25. This sounds like another interesting book for my never ending reading list lol :) xx

    www.fashionjazz.co.za

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    Replies
    1. Haha, let me know if you pick it up :)

      Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog
      My Instagram | Instagram

      Delete
  26. Beautiful post dear!

    Xx,

    || FLOORTJELOVES ||

    www.floortjeloves.com

    www.bloglovin.com/blogs/floortjeloves-12198253

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  27. The plot is most definitely intriguing to say the least.
    LaToya
    www.toyastales.blogspot.com

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  28. Sounds like an interesting read! I'll give it a go after I finish my Outlander series! hehe
    Have a fantastic week! xx

    http://www.crystalchiffon.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've just bought the outlander DVDs :)

      Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog
      My Instagram | Instagram

      Delete
  29. ooh the book title sounds interesting

    ephemeralfox.blogspot.com

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  30. This book sounds incredibly interesting!
    LA VEINE

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  31. This sounds SO thrilling! I'm always on the lookout for new books~

    Vivian | LIVE . IN . LOVE

    ~

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    Replies
    1. I especially love thrillers :)

      Rosy xx

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  32. This book sounds amazing! I need to recommend this to my book club asap.

    http://www.kathrineeldridge.com

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    Replies
    1. Let me know if you read it.

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  33. This book seems quite interesting! :)

    Federica Di Nardo
    http://federicadinardo.com

    ReplyDelete
  34. This sounds really interesting, I would like to read that book, if I will have the oportunity.

    jointyicroissanty

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  35. This sounds so interesting!

    http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/

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  36. The book sounds so intriguing! I'm always trying to remember my dreams before I forget them waking up.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  37. This is definitely something I'd love to read, books with twists like this always capture my attention. I've just put it on my to read list, thank you so much for sharing!

    Sending light & love your way,
    My Lovelier Days

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  38. Wow this books sounds really intense
    xo
    www.laurajaneatelier.com

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  39. This genuinely sounds fascinating! I'm adding it to my reading list immediately!

    Amber - amberelb.com

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    Replies
    1. Let me know if you read it.

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  40. This sounds like an interesting read - love reading your book reviews!

    Miriam
    www.londonkitchendiaries.com

    ReplyDelete
  41. I must say already the title and what you wrote following is really catching and I can imagine it is very interesting to read!
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
    www.dressedwithsoul.com

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    Replies
    1. It really was very interesting :)

      Rosy xx

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  42. Adding this to my good reads, can't wait to check it out!

    x, S Je M'appelle Chanel

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  43. I'm always looking for a good suspenseful page turner. I'm definitely going to check this out on Kindle. Thanks for the rec!

    xx Yasmin
    http://banglesandbungalows.com

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    Replies
    1. Let me know what you think.

      Rosy xx

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  44. I am definitely going to add this to my book list! It sounds really interesting! Thanks for sharing!

    http://roadesque.com
    http://ourruins.com

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    Replies
    1. Let me know if you read it :)

      Rosy xx

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  45. I need to pick up this book asap! 'I Lie' looks G-O-O-D!

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    Replies
    1. Let me know if you read it :)

      Rosy xx

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  46. It sounds fascinating! Not my usual kind of book but the excerpt had me hooked, definitely going on my reading list. Sadly my reading list grows ever larger as two toddlers don't leave me much time for reading, haha!

    Thank you for the link up!

    Hope you're having a great end to the week with a lovely weekend ahead!

    Away From The Blue Blog

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    Replies
    1. Haha, yes toddlers really do take all your time don't they :)

      Rosy xx

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  47. I haven't read a good book in so long, but this sounds so good!

    Katie | https://katieameliaxo.blogspot.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. You should get back into it, by far it's my favourite pass time.

      Rosy xx

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  48. I haven't heard that book before. It sounds really interesting, even the book cover takes the attention. I haven't read a book for a long time, I might give this a try :)

    Ela BellaWorld

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  49. Already captivated by the cover....I need to find it asap and read a couple of pages haha!

    xo,

    H

    http://firsttimethings.com

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  50. Great content and love your thoughts on this post
    ����Thank you so much����
    Hope you had an amazing weekend!!
    I am glad you enjoyed reading my recent posts and thank you!!
    MyLyfeMyStory

    ReplyDelete
  51. Great content and love your thoughts on this post
    💗💗Thank you so much💗💗
    Hope you had an amazing weekend!!
    I am glad you enjoyed reading my recent posts and thank you!!
    MyLyfeMyStory

    ReplyDelete
  52. I need to get back into reading! Thanks for the review :)

    Caitlin, Beauty & Colour

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  53. OMG! The intro already made me go to bookdepository.com to get a copy!! Sorry, I didn't read the rest of your post. I don't want any spoilers. This book sounds good :)

    xoxo
    Alyssa // STYLE VANITY

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    Replies
    1. Haha, no worries, I never post spoilers though ;)

      Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog
      My Instagram | Instagram

      Delete
  54. this sounds like such an interesting read! thanks for sharing :)

    http://claresloves.blogspot.com/

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  55. Omg, what a title! :D
    You did a great review! :)

    Kathy's delight / Instagram

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  56. I like the title of it, so catchy. I'm not sure if I would pick it up, maybe x

    Laura
    Pink Frenzy

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    Replies
    1. If you're not into darker novels this wont be one for you.

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  57. I'm so captivated, this sounds really intriguing! The narrative sounds really unique with Amber being so unreliable. It definitely sounds gripping :)

    Sophie | soinspo xo

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    Replies
    1. It's definitely a unique book :)

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  58. Amazing post! :D
    http://freshisyummy.blogspot.com/2017/04/inspirations-coachella-2017.html

    ReplyDelete
  59. Sounds great and thrilling! I'm always looking for new books I can read! Thanks for sharing, honey!

    ♘ www.sugarpopfashion.com ♘

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  60. This kind of book interests me so much. I am more of a chick-lit and a conspiracy reader and I think I will be enjoying this much. As of the moment, I am stuck in The Catcher in the Rye. Thank you for sharing this one for I have next book to read now.


    Xeph | engineerxeph.com

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    Replies
    1. I've not read Catcher in the Rye yet :)

      Rosy xx

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