Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Why I Don't Give a Damn and You Shouldn't Either


Hello Everyone,

Today's post is going to be a very personal one which is rare on Sparkles of Light because I like to keep things light, fluffy and cheery but sometimes we all need a bit of truth, if you're not good with that then I'll see you in my next post, for the rest of you - grab a cup of tea and sit back, it's going to be a bit of a rant.


This is a post I've been meaning to write for a while but it just never seems to be the right time, however, yesterday in my local shops I heard something that made me think it is about time I had my say on an issue very important to me.

As I was browsing the aisles in Asda I heard a woman shout at a store assistant that she was 'Bloody Uselss', the poor girl only looked about 17 and she went bright red and it got me thinking of my own life and experiences... (Get ready, we're about to get deep)

Growing up I had a bit of a tough time, yeah I know we all do and I'm not going to go into it here but I've experienced some things that showed me a glimpse of hell, I was that shy kid, teen and young adult who took abuse a lot, I even believed that I deserved it for a long time and that I was worth nothing other than my life was then.

I was constantly led to believe I was disgusting, I wouldn't amount to anything and I was a terrible person who deserved everything she got.

Maybe one day I'll discuss some of that, maybe not, but I remember the day I realised it didn't have to be this way, I was important and I was my own person and I didn't have to sit there absorbing what boiled down to other people's shit negativity.

I left, and I've been leaving ever since, moving around the globe till I have found what I'm looking for, my dream home and my perfect family, sure it's been hard, doing a complete 180 and running off into the unknown is scary as feck but really, nothing was more scary to me than staying where I was, surrounded by my own hell and the people who helped make it that way and whilst I'm not suggesting you do anything as drastic as I did, (moving a thousand miles away and starting over) just think about your lives, are there poisonous people in it? You don't deserve anything other than happiness and sometimes you have to make your own.

Maybe I'm not rich and famous, maybe I'm not an area manager in some large corporation but I have achieved success in my own way.

I've seen rock bottom and I've danced with the stars, I've known true love and I've looked into the eyes of hatred, I've ran through the streets of Paris, I've stood on top of a mountain in the rain, I've lived abroad, I've traveled to Prague alone on a whim, I've met people from many nations, I've seen brand new life and I've said goodbye to people I love,  I've driven to Bruges for some chocolate, I've been in countries that no one in the world knew I was in at the time, I've had Guinness in Dublin and I've had fresh cheeses in Holland, I've had a truck of fire people out to my house because wasps had taken residency in my attic and apparently that's now they roll in Germany, I've dipped my feet in glacial waters in Austria and I've won hundreds of dollars in Vegas but most importantly of all, I've survived and I'm happy.

So to everyone who said I wouldn't make it, to everyone who physically hurt me because they thought they could, to everyone who refused to help when I needed it, This is to you.

SWIVEL

Because I've made it and to anyone reading this going through a tough time, I feel you and it will get better, you just have to believe in your self worth and don't give a damn what anyone has to say.

So if you made it to the end, well done and I'll be back to light and fluffy next time.

Rosy xx



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47 comments

  1. Beautiful post which couldn’t have come at a better time as I can totally relate! I’m by no means a perfect person, but I do have a clear sense of right and wrong and there have been occasions where people’s treatment has left me no choice but to walk away.

    It's hard to understand why people say and do hurtful things, often randomly and in situations where it's completely uncalled for. It can really hit your self-esteem. But I guess all you can do is distance yourself and focus on your positive attributes.

    - Lubna | The Digital Review

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    1. I'm glad you've found the courage to walk away when you need to, it can be so hard sometimes but we just have to hold on to our own self worth :)

      Rosy xx

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  2. This was such a beautifully written post. I never understand why people would be so cruel but I'm glad you're doing things you want that make you happy! x

    www.57-days.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you, some people are beyond understanding :)

      Rosy xx

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  3. Beautiful post! I'm so glad you have such a positive outlook on life when it seems like there was the potential to go a different path.

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  4. This is beautiful and so well said, Rosy!
    I don't and will never understand why people feel the need to belittle others...what good do they get out of being so mean and hateful.
    I'm so glad to see that you have such a positive experience after the fact...not everyone does and I sure hope this helps and inspires other who have gone or are going through difficult times.
    xo, Lily
    Beauty With Lily

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    1. I know, it can definitely push people down the wrong path but I just hope this post can help at least one person :)

      Rosy xx

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  5. i love this and i actually am planning to move thousands of miles away next year haha! just for a year from america to london to get my masters but i think it's what i need at this point in my life. sounds like you've done a lot with yours so far!

    danielle | avec danielle

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    1. Ah congratulations, you should really enjoy it, moving away is liberating :)

      Rosy xx

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  6. this post is fantastic! congratulations for turning your life around and coming out the other end happy and refreshed. I'm going through a tough time at the minute and I really hope one day I can look back like you can now. thank you for reminding me that it will get better. I'll keep fighting and I'll come out of the other side a better person like you have x

    Sophie
    http://www.sophiesnotebook.com

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    1. I really hope everything is ok for you soon, going through a tough time is terrible and you really deserve nothing but happiness. I'll be thinking of you and hit me up on social media any time :)

      Rosy xx

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  7. This is such a lovely post, I'm glad you have come through your tough time and are happy now!

    Lauren Ashleigh xx

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  8. This post was so beautifully written! I was badly bullied at school also, but it's how we bounce back that defines us not what people say we are. Since I've started my blog the people who bullied me message and email me asking for stuff or contacts and it's just so funny how life turns out sometimes! I'm so glad you made your own light my love and it sounds like you're living the dream! <3

    Hayley xo
    www.frockmeimfamous.com

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    1. Ah there's literally nothing more satisfying than finally having the upper hand on people who tried to bring you down, I hope you keep those contacts to yourself lovely :)

      Rosy xx

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  9. I love this post. We've all being through a lot to give a damn!

    wendee//theglossychic.com

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  10. So sorry to hear of the sad times that you had in your life. It seems like you have found your happiness now though. That poor girl at the shop though. I used to work in retail and unfortunately I have seen this happen too many times. Have a great day babe. Gemma x
    www.jacquardflower.uk

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    1. I worked in retail too and my life some people can be so rude!

      Rosy xx

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  11. I love this! So great to hear of all the amazing things you did - you definitely showed the bullies you are more than they thought and treated you! I wonder how many of them have even done one of the things that you have? I can relate to this as I've had a tough time with people (mainly bitchy groups of girls) over the years, but now I've learnt to love myself and finally stop giving a damn about what others think. Really inspiring post and glad to hear you're happy now :)

    Sarah xx
    www.shesawriter.co.uk

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    1. I'm glad you've triumphed over the horrible groups of bullies, it's liberating when you realise their opinions mean nothing.

      Rosy xx

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  12. Hugs, Rosy and what a beautiful post. I'll be sharing this so hopefully it will inspire and reach out to anyone who needed a smile and a boost of confidence. Like you, I've seen rock bottom too and there have been a time when I thought there was no end to my misery but like you, I found my way out and success. Yes, you and me and anyone can do it but with lots of courage, determination and hope.

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

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    1. Thanks so much Shireen, I'm so glad you got yourself out of that horrible cycle where each day feels as bad as the next, thank you for sharing :)

      Rosy xx

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  13. Such an inspiring post! I'm enjoying every sentence of it.

    Oh Dear Bumblebees

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  14. Great post! I love the way you see you achieved success in your own way. Don't care about those negative people! Always surround yourself with people who have positive energies :)

    xo
    treatu.blogspot.com

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  15. Best advice I have ever given myself. I am glad you were able to reach the conclusion of "not giving a damn" yourself. Thanks for sharing this with all of us :)

    http://www.thebeautybeau.com/

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    1. I'm glad you can relate :)

      Rosy xx

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  16. Annnnd I'm welling up in the middle of Leon. Tough times really are there to test us and make us appreciate the good and the things that you've done since are just insanely incredible. Always remember those things, and (try to) forget the crap. Perspective is an amazing thing and focusing on the things that matter help me most to not give a damn!

    Elle
    www.theellenextdoor.com
    xx

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    1. Thanks Elle, that means a lot :) sorry about bringing on tears though, I owe you a gluten free treat for that one :)

      Rosy xx

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  17. Oh wow!! Really? How mean of the customer. Even if she was thinking it, he or she shouldn't have said that to the staff. May God forgive us for some of the ignorant things we do as humans.
    You've done well girl and you can be proud of yourself. We live to learn I say. Great post! :)

    http://missymayification.blogspot.co.uk

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  18. Now that is the voice of a strong , confident woman, Go girl!Sometimes i tell myself that i've hit rock bottom but then again i look at my situation and say , you can't quite now ,some MFkers are watching you and waiting for you to fail ,This is your opportunity to prove them wrong . We are stronger than we think. Thanks for this lovely inspiring post ,and have a great weekend.

    www.stylenbeautylounge.com

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    1. Thanks for this, and I'm glad you don't let yourself fall, that would let the haters win!

      Rosy xx

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  19. This is an incredible post which more people should read. Not all posts are going to be the jolly ones but in a way this one was because this made you who you are!

    girlsonlinejourney.com

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  20. This was so inspirational, I honestly almost cried :'). You seem like you've had a life full of things. Full of emotions and experiences. I'm so happy that you don't give a damn. I'm trying my hardest not to, either. :)
    Julia || Julia in Bluhm

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    1. Thank you Julia, hopefully you'll soon join me on the 'Not Giving a Damn' train :)

      Rosy xx

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  21. Really inspirational post! I currently relate so much to this! Trying to cut out the negative people from my life! Great post!

    Rebecca x
    http://rebeccalaura02.blogspot.co.uk/

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  22. This is such a powerful post! It really gripped me. I'm so glad that you got away from a bad situation. It's not easy to do but even just that step made you a winner and it sounds as though you keep winning.
    V
    http://sirvikalot.wordpress.com/blog

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  23. This is such a powerful post! It really gripped me. I'm so glad that you got away from a bad situation. It's not easy to do but even just that step made you a winner and it sounds as though you keep winning.
    V
    http://sirvikalot.wordpress.com/blog

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