Monday, 2 May 2016

Top 5 Things I Wish Were Legal


Hello Everyone,

It's another Top 5 list from me today, as usual this list isn't meant to offend anyone or make anyone feel personally victimised by Regina George so without further ado, here are 5 things I wish were legal.




1. Bitch Slapping: Now let's not get crazy I'm not talking about just going around dealing out knuckle sandwiches like they're going out of fashion, I'm talking about delivering a well timed lesson in life to these people.
You're minding your own business just being your amazing self when one of these individuals approach, you know they're on their way because the theme from Jaws starts to play loudly (in my head anyway), they're usually a casual acquaintance, you usually avoid them but today Jaws got you.

Them: Hey!!!! Long time no see!!!! What you been up to?
You: Hi, Oh I know! Not a lot really just day to day life, how about you?
Them: Well you know *Insert Name of Glorious Boyfriend Here* loves to spoil me? Well he took me away last weekend, only New York you know, nothing too fancy... wait... haven't you always wanted to go to New York? Yeah it's a bit expensive mind you probably couldn't afford it now on your wage but it's definitely something to aspire to, anyway I shopped all day and I ended up spending a good 8 grand on new season must haves because I simply can't do high street these days... Is that an H&M top by the way? It looks good on you, I wish I could pull off cheap clothes but they just end up looking cheap I feel but it's so you to not care about your image I wish I could be as bold as you I'm just too image conscious you know?
You: *BITCH SLAP*

You know you'd love it too.

2. Drop The Mic: We've all seen someone drop the mic, hell, even Obama did it but wouldn't it be great if this was an acceptable way of saying "Excuse me fine sir, you appear to have delivered me less than satisfactory customer service today, therefore I shall be leaving now and I shall not be paying, Tata and farewell"
For example, you're in a restaurant, the waitress is rude, the food was semi warm, you had to wait 45 minutes for your drink to arrive.
Drop The Mic, walk out.

3. Eat Your Facebook: We all have that annoying passive aggressive friend on Facebook, the one that writes the horrendously obvious dig at someone that they think is cryptic, usually with some bad grammar, a sprinkling of mild threat and a whole lot of bad language.
What usually follows is a plethora of "What's wrong Hun?" from people you know only want the goss and then when the person the status is aimed at finally reads it and responds (either straight on the offensive or with a "is this aimed at me then?" comment) the original keyboard warrior decides to pretend it wasn't obviously them, someone else just happened to now be going out with their ex and the status disappears.
I'd like the legal power to print these statuses and make serial offenders eat the paper, just me?

4. Fish Slap: Like the bitch slap but reserved for more serious matters such as someone body-shaming, making racist comments or anything else truly disgusting that I don't need to dwell on here.
Whipping out a massive wet trout and delivering a lovely satisfying wallop to the chops would be delightful.

5. Watching Magic Mike at Work: All day, just the dance scenes. Work would be so much better, so so much better, now while I'm aware this isn't technically illegal, it would cost you your job (unless you work on the choreography of Magic Mike on set, in which case please be my friend).

So there we go my Top 5 things I think I should definitely be allowed to enter mainstream life.

Are there any things you'd love to be allowed to do?

Rosy xx
SHARE:

19 comments

  1. Wow, your blog is amazing! I love it! xx
    Would you like to follow each other? If yes, please follow me on the both of my blogs and let me know in the comments of my newest posts so I can follow you ASAP.
    Have a great weekend!


    Vildana from Living Like V & Stalia Is BAE

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my god. New favourite blog discovery. As soon as I saw 'bitch slapping' I was like YES! Yes girl. I love it. Channing Tatum *tounge emoji*. Just yes! How have I just discovered your blog!!!
    Katie | Words By Katie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello :) Welcome to my blog, we're all free to deliver plenty bitch slapping here and Channing Tatum worship is definitely encouraged :)

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  3. Lol this really made me lough. Great unique post. Gemma x
    www.jacquardflower.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  4. Bitch slapping and Fish slapping must be legal because lots of people out there deserve them. Haha! I really enjoyed this relatable blog post.
    Love, Fads

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, right? I should start a movement here :)

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  5. When I first read the title I thought it would be a serious post. However, I love it a million times more after seeing your answers. Bitch and fish slapping need to be legal!

    http://thegigglyblogger.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha, I rarely go too serious over in these parts ;)

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  6. hahahahah... I am one of those who wish Bitch slapping was legal .Sometimes you just want to smack some senses into people, sometimes. I really enjoyed reading this . Great post.

    www.stylenbeautylounge.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, haha I definitely agree :)

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  7. Love this post - really enjoyed reading! I mean if bitch slapping was legal I think we'd all be in prison haha!

    Anika | anikamay.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed reading :)

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  8. Literally LOLing at this so hard, this is bloody brilliant. Bitch slapping and making serial annoying facebook status'ers being illegal would be a dream!

    Elle
    www.theellenextdoor.com
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, I always get enraged on facebook these days, it's an epidemic on there I swear!

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  9. I laughed way too hard at this. Hahahaha! I DEFINITELY want Magic Mike to be legal to watch at work. Or you know...have Magic Mike at work. Just saying hahaha!

    xx Bash |   go say   H E Y   B A S H

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why did I not think of having actual Magic Mike at work? You're a genius!

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  10. I laughed way too much at this post. I love the idea of dropping the mic. Amazing! Hahaha.

    www.lacylatest.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

© Sparkles of Light. All rights reserved.
BLOGGER TEMPLATE BY pipdig