Thursday, 18 February 2016

Top 5 Worst Come-Ons I've Ever Had



Hello Everyone,

Today's post is a little different, I have been silently watching the love fest unfold on every social media platform I can get my hands on (and that's a lot of post scrolling believe me!) and I am suspecting a fair few of you are feeling a little full to the brim of it all by now, so as Valentine's Day is truly gone for another year, let's get back to normal by appreciating some of the most horrific come-ons I've ever endured.





1. I was out with some friends having a few drinks when we were approached by an over zealous puppy gentleman who was bopping around all over the place trying to pull me and my friends into various hugs/gropes, suddenly enter stage right a knight in shining armour who ran over and threw his arms around my shoulder.
"Sorry mate this is my girlfriend" said my savior and the puppy man bounded away to the next table, eager to express my gratitude I turned to thank the man who suddenly lunged in for the kill and tried to stick his tongue straight down my throat...
Trying to keep my vomit inside and pushing the fella off I hear a woman jeering him on "GET IN THERE LAD" she cried. I pushed this disgusting specimen away and started to look frantically for some bleach to gargle with when I heard him say something to the woman jeering him on:
"Mum I've told you not to shout that!"
Insert scream face emoji.

2. "Here's a picture of  a man spanking a monkey, would you like to spank my monkey?"
Keep walking fella, keep walking.

3."If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and Me together" - Him
"Erm... Isn't it meant to be U and I?" - Me
"......................." - Him

4. "I'm gay usually but I'd quite like a go of a girl"
The offensiveness of that one works on so many levels I can't even begin.

and I saved the very best for last.

5. I was once pursued by a bit of a strange fella... he kept trying to come up with exciting ways to invite me back to his dungeon house for a full filled evening of being slayed watching movies but I was always a little reluctant/terrified.
The day came when he decided to pull out all of the stops and drop by my desk with a folder for me to browse and said we could discuss it at lunch.
What was in the folder you ask? Well my friends, it was a collection of pictures of his favourite serial killers, some real, some from movies such as Halloween - you know, the stuff of every young girl's dream date,
I swiftly returned his folder and he offered me the chance to come back to his and see some of the movie replicas he has from various slasher films... weirdly I was busy... FOREVER!

I hope you enjoyed reading some of these, have you ever had a terrible chat-up experience? Leave them below so we can wallow together.

Rosy xx
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24 comments

  1. I'm sorry - are you saying that someone asking you to spank their monkey didn't win you over?!

    Ha ha I would love to know if anyone has EVER been successful with that one...

    xx lacoconoire.com

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  2. hahahahahaha...rotfl , That number 4 is so funny "gay" ..psst hahaha. Great post.

    wwww.stylenbeautylounge.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, what a confidence boost that was haha

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  3. Oh my goodness. What is WRONG with men???!!! Very entertaining post! x

    Kate Louise Blogs

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    Replies
    1. Apparently there is a lot wrong with them, a lot!

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  4. Oh good lord. I can't imagine ever going out on the dating scene and I don't think I ever want to with these sort of men about! I always get creeps walking up to me just trying to touch me up but these guys...whole new deal! That first one, what a cretin of a man to try that after seeing how uncomfortable you were with the pestering from the first guy?! They're all so bloomin' entitled aren't they!

    Funny post but at the same time it annoys me that people can be so weird and assume their techniques will be quite so successful! I wonder if any of those have EVER worked on a woman!

    Issy | MissIsGoode xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know I feel the exact same way, I don't know if they all had one off problem days or if these are actually their techniques!

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  5. Good lord, I couldn't CRINGE more! Where do men even get these lines from? But this was quite amusing to read, I think I would laugh so hard if I was to hear these in real life. I'd be rolling on the ground.

    Love,
    Hannie Arden from missingwanderer.org.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I laughed... eventually ;)

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  6. I literally LOL'd throughout this whole post (and then got a little angry and the rudeness haha) but this is bloody brilliant. Such a fab post girl!

    Elle
    www.theellenextdoor.com
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, you have to laugh, if you didn't you'd cry haha

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  7. Oh my GOD. These are ridiculous! I can't believe you've met people like this in real life! Unsure whether these people are clueless or just stupid? How terrifying is that last serial killer-obsessed one, though?!

    May | THE MAYDEN | bloglovin'

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    Replies
    1. I know, what is even more scary is that the serial killer one is now married :/

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  8. These made me straight up love hahaha.

    www.themakeupaficionado.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Replies
    1. It was pretty adventurous haha

      Rosy xx

      Delete
  10. This made me laugh so much! The other day when a lad was coming onto me I said 'you know i have a boyfriend' and he said 'yeah, and you know i have a goldfish but thats just another irrelevant fact' I died!
    Lizzy | by Lizzy x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wow some of these pick up lines are really awkward and bad! I would have done the "I hear my friends/mom/sister callin"to get away :P

    Maireem | My Fair Autumn | Instagram | Twitter | Snapchat: myfairautumn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're really really bad aren't they?

      Rosy xx

      Delete

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